The science of imaginary genders is settled

Replace your bigoted biology textbook with this new, definitive guide.

The Babylon Bee Guide to Gender, available wherever harmful misinformation is sold.

Before science, the world was filled with primitive savages who thought there were only two genders. It was a dark, oppressive time when unaffirmed trans people were committing suicide by the thousands — but so secretly that there was never any record of it. Then, in the summer of 2018, science was invented and ground-breaking experiments conducted entirely in the imagination of activists proved that men could get pregnant, and women could experience both the pain of childbirth and testicle injuries. It was a time of enlightenment, inclusion, and jaw-dropping profitability at children's gender clinics. But it was also a time of deep confusion due to widespread bigotry, biology textbooks, and so-called "common sense." That's why we wrote this book — not just to clear away your confusion (Chapter 1), but to shame you into compliance (the rest of it). Buy it now for less than you'd spend in tips at your local drag queen story hour.